Who Needs Lanes Anyway?

Bali is a relatively small island. One can drive from the southern tip to the northern coast in about two and a half hours. Rarely on a straight road, mind you. Public transport is limited a few intercity buses and local taxis called bemos. Tourists use taxis, charter buses, and rental cars. The locals’ choice, however, is the ubiquitous motorbike. The roads are basically streams of mopeds interspersed with a few cars and trucks. Bikes come in two varieties – A generic hybrid that I call the Suzukyamahonda, and the Vespa. Everything can be transported by motorbike. I’ve seen chickens, eggs, water, goats, soup stands, and entire families zipping along the road perched precariously over two spinning wheels. The maximum number of people who can fit on one of these bikes seems to be five (I’ve seen this only once), but I feel that record has been challenged.

If you’ve ever watched the tour de France on one of those days where the group turns a sharp corner and everyone bumps into each other and most end up in a pile on the pavement, then you can imagine what driving in Bali is all about. At first it seems like a maddening mess, but I have managed to figure some of it out. I live several kilometers away from the harbour from whence my boat leaves every day and have rented a bike to get me there and back. Before even contemplating this, however, I studied the patterns in the traffic.

Turns out there is one golden rule on Balinese roadways; whomever is in front has the right of way. No questions. So long as you are a hair’s width ahead of the next vehicle, you can do whatever the heck you want. Signaling only happens when you’ve overshot your exit and you come back the wrong way along the road. And turning on your four-way flashers is your signal for everyone to: “watch out! I’m going straight through the intersection.”

A few secondary rules govern Balinese roadways:

1. The lines painted on the road are merely a rough guide. No one expects you to keep inside your lane. That would be too orderly. And sensible.

2. One lane comfortably fits one narrow, asian-built car. Upwards of four bikes can use the same space.

3. Honk when you want to pass someone who is in your way. Or just ride their bumper until they move.

4. If you’re in a hurry, don’t hesitate to weave around traffic waiting at the lights. You will end up in front, thereby gaining right of way.

5. Ladies must point their toes downwards while riding.

6. Men must spread their legs, creating drag and exposing poor fashion choice in socks.

Yes, helmets are mandatory in Bali. If you’re a tourist. But not for a family. I mean, you can’t really expect all five of them to have their own…